Letter Home: December 19, 2007

It is the night before the big Islamic Holiday known as Tabaski. I am sitting in my room trying to move past all my ups and downs and just be…

Spiritual

I just finished a book by Donald Miller, Blue Like Jazz. It was amazing and at the same time quite simple. The things he presented are not extraordinary. The main concepts, love, self-esteem, and faith, are portrayed beautifully throughout the gospels. They have also been prophesized a million times in a million different ways. So why is it that there are still so many new ways one can present a fruit of the spirit? Regardless it was a wonderful buffer for my next book (that I am still in the process of reading) Going Home: Jesus and Buddha as Brothers by Thich Nhat Hanh. I can wrap my head around some of the aspects of Buddhism but many concepts seem to be empty and hard to grasp. I will have to finish the book before I can really articulate my true opinion or point-of-view. The books are great ways to stay on top of the relationship with Jesus! Another book, Too Soon To Quit, came into the light just at the right moment. I had stashed it away on my shelf. One day I came home and felt like this Peace Corps thing wasn't for me. Ready to call it quits… No particular reason just sad and longed for my Southeastern comfort zone. I went in search of my Bible but didn't have the heart to read it at the moment. I located the small daily devotional and was instantly enlightened, inspired, and awestruck.

The Lord works in mysterious ways…

So like I said earlier, it is the night before the big Tabaski fete (party). Can hear the music at le masion des jeunes (the house of the young). Don't have the energy to go to another party after my last appearance (read Miss Numero 4 for an explanation). I am going to go to the mosque tomorrow morning with my "Tante" and the wife of my supervisor. I have gotten my hair braided and feet tattooed…. It is going to be quite the feast. I am curious about the processes, sacrifices, et ce. I hope that I may be able to at least halfway understand the whole feast thing but for my first Tabaski it is just show-and-tell.

For Christmas, it is Bamako (that is why you have this letter of course) and dinner with some South African friends. Wish I could attend a church service. I am not where I need to be by any means in my relationship with my God but I am encouraged to know that He wants and needs me here for a reason. I am to live my life with a purpose even through all my faults. I was created for a reason and a purpose. I intend on completing my service (even though the two years seem sooooo long). I also intend on becoming very acquainted with my GOD!

Physical

Yes, I am depressed in this arena! I try and try but discipline and dedication to a repetitive task has never been my strong point. I hate cleaning, washing dishes, cooking, driving, and exercising because it takes repetition and steady persistence. I know now that once the luster of something is gone my attention is easily distracted. Why can't I be steadfast?! So I started working out; playing basketball, riding my bike, running, crunches, push-ups, weight-training. However, I find more enjoyment in reading a novel. I LOVE to read, write, plan, organize things. If one could lose weight reading books I would be a bean pole!!! I have read well over 15 books since I arrived in Africa. However I am going to be at TubaniSo in a week or two. The month of January I have training with my fellow volunteers. I hope to eat right and start a regular routine of running in the morning. Ok so this is so vain but one of the main reasons I don't want to run in the mornings is because I am not any good…. I know you got to start somewhere but people will literally stop doing what they are doing and stare. The unwanted attention is getting quite annoying!!! No matter the vanity or shame I must start something because I am gaining weight. I am already feeling the tightness of some of my clothes; not a good sign! I need help in this department. I know good diet and regular exercise is all you need but I am stuck in the mud in both departments! ARGH!! Sorry, this is so much like a girl to rant and rave about such superficial things. Please forgive me! Writing on this blog is an outlet….

Social/Business

I was in a beauty pageant! I was Miss Contestant 4 in the Miss Banamba pageant. Ok this is quite a story so I wrote another blog just for it!

I have three projects in the works for service:

1. Shea Nut Union for Women's Associations

2. Junior Achievement (program with 2nd graders)

3. HIV/AIDS Awareness program that will cross-over into Gender and Development Issues and Sports

I am starting to get past my fear of mingling and people calling me "white person." I am starting to talk to people which means my language is getting to a point that I can communicate. I almost hate that I have to go to another training already. I would like to spend more time integrating but the training is necessary. SO this means I will have regular access to internet over the next few weeks (Christmas, New Year's, Jan. 7-19).

I have a wonderful Language Tutor at my site that includes me in a lot of things. My host family and new Tante (mom) are exceptional people who really look after me. I am starting to bond with the family I live with but I have been much unmotivated. I spend a lot of time in my house; sleeping, cleaning, studying, sewing, reading. The family gives me my space and lets me do what I want which is completely NOT Malian! I am so blessed. I have heard horror stories about other Malian families that will not give volunteers a moment's peace.

I also have an exceptional group of friends at the capital, Bamako. Many are South Africans and the others are people I have met at the 5K hash run (I also need to get into shape to run this bi-weekly race).

MISC

I babysit for my family that I live with. The mother has a baby girl named Haoua. She is so cute and loves me! Really she does! Every evening I play with her and allow the mother to clean or cook. We play and baby talk. It is refreshing to not have to really communicate. She has large eyes that are always wide open. The smile is breath-taking while her mouth is too small for her large noggin. She is finally sitting up without support and wobbles with the new balancing game. I am starting to be understood by the family and the men are keeping their distance. I feel strong; brave. I can communicate, atleast on a basic level. It is true, when you can not communicate with people you have to remind yourself that you are smart and capable of doing things. I read something in Bambara and everyone said "Oh Halima you speak Bambara." I was able to explain, "yes, I can read but I do not understand the language. There is a difference."

The holidays are passing by with relative ease. I am happy and love how love and understanding surrounds the community. The whole “white person” thing is not as annoying. I am not as afraid to venture out and greet new people.

Life is good.